Earlier this week Lyra asked us how many months old she was. And January and I helped her figure this out in her head. To us and our nature based life, her question about her age in months became her age in moons. Well my birthday is today so of course we did me too, and found that I was 360moons old. It sounds very romantic and wise so I think I'll keep it. I have no issues with turning thirty. My husband and all my friends are older than me, for one. But secondly, I like growing up. I alway have. I don't mind getting older, as long as I don't get old before my time. Which I currently do not feel in danger of. I look forward to the day of white hair ( I do hope to get my grandma's pure white locks), in their time. I have spent my whole life waiting for this lifetime. All my hopes and dreams were for these early adult years. I had goals and dreams and they have been fulfilled with more joy than I had hope for.
In my early twenties, as a new mother and wife- things were not going exactly as I had imagined. I had a sick baby, a very stressed husband, a negative balance in the checking account and a lot of confusion. How could this be going so wrong? Well, I just flat out refused to give all the joy I had waited for over to worry and heartache. This would not be stolen from me, and especially not BY me. I found yoga. I actually didn't find yoga so much as start a regular practice. And from that practice, I found the whole world I had been looking for. I found other people who believed in themselves and nature. I found cloth diapers. I found CSAs and farmers markets. I found beautiful friends. I found my true self and permission to be happy despite unsettling things in the world or my life. I found that my husband was more wonderful than I had let him be. I found all the problems in my life were my own making. And over the years, I tended the path, and practiced, and meditated. And so here on my thirtieth birthday, I sit a real, full grown woman. I am no longer in a rush to get here. I am no longer in a rush at all. I am ready to linger over all the future days.