Saturday, January 26, 2013
I found this pod cast about two weeks ago. Since then, I have watched it several times. While chopping vegetables for dinner, while the children watched a movie near by, while the baby nursed. I have not done it once. Not even rolled out the mat. I have managed to do 5 sun salutations on most mornings. I have noticed them strengthening, my body moving more like fluid from one place to another. I have noticed my breath, even off the mat. I have noticed my place, my time, my space.
Because, here, in the thick of full motherhood- the strength of my body and mind are the only tools I need. Here, in this time and place- Asana practice is not to increase flexibility, or give me a firmer body. Never, is asana about what I can do on the mat- it's about what I can take with me when I leave the still, quite rectangle and move into the great wide open.
So practice here, is about finding that balance between what is needed-and what can wait. Wait till babies do not cry when they are left, wait till big girls don't need grown ups at brownies, wait until after the only time two tired parents can find each other. I do indeed need my asana practice, and my meditation, and my reading, writing, breathing, and art. But, if the main objective of all them is to bring me clarity and balance- then I need not lust after time for these as long as I find myself in a place of clarity and balance.
There will be time, time to study more, practice more, explore more- but there will never be more of this. I will never get more of these precious beings as they are today. And I will never get more time to practice being here, in full motherhood. What there is to learn here- cannot be learned from someone else, only from showing up here, present and mindful.