Tuesday, June 21, 2011

busy busy spring bees

Enjoying the first of the homemade popsicles.

Ingredients for picnics and summer dinners.

First swim meet.

Followed by lyrical dance recital. Yes, on the same day.

Lyra planned, shopped the farmer's market (with her own money) and prepared father's day brunch for David.

 Hazel on her new big girl bike ( and now maybe we will stop complaining about our little girl carseat).

Ahhh, this weekend marked the end of all things spring for us. We officially threw ourselves into summer. Now to focus on swim team, picnics, preserving, fire-flies, camp fires, and pie baking. Long slow mornings and evenings sandwiching long furiously fast days of sun, warmth and laughter. Welcome summer, welcome, welcome.

Friday, June 17, 2011

A thought from years ago

Years ago, during a very difficult time, I was moaning to myself how I wished I could just enjoy the children. "I wish I didn't have these grown up worries and all these problems in the way. These problems were stealing the little time I had to enjoy my children's babyhood. I waited my whole life for this and now all THESE THINGS were in the way". And then I thought, what if, what if all those years from now as I lie dying I realize this very day was the best day of my life- and I wasted it being angry I have problems. Well, no thank you. When I lie dying, I want to think " Everyday was the best day of my life, and I enjoyed every bit of it."

The link below is a short list of regrets among those who lie dying. Nurture your life today- there is nothing to wait for.
regrets of those dying

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Sunday morning, there were tears as I packed up for the farmer's market. The girls were with my mama, they had spent the night, and David was seeing me off. End of the driveway, through the driver-side window I get a kiss and some very good advice. One little sentence from him, and I have been holding tight to it all week long.
My body does not seem to be as comfortable with our loss as the rest of me is. Deep down there, deep inside, something is holding on tight and refusing return to its pre-pregnancy state. When the rest of me wants very much to have a new pregnancy and baby- my body says no, its not ready yet. And it sends me very mixed signals. This is where the tears came in, as I explained to my husband " I just don't know what I normally know".
"well, why don't you focus on what you do know right now". huh. that, is a very good idea. And I started making a list. Of what I know. And I've been making it longer and longer all week, every time I start to wonder, and worry, and consider, and think too-hard.

I know my husband loves me more than life itself.
I know my daughters are the most fascinating people in the universe ( to me, of course).
that heaven and hell are right here on earth, everyday.
that a child wants to be with her mother.
that homemade chocolate chip cookies solve most problems.
with sun shining on my living room floor, its hard not to be cheerful.
my greatest fear: my family being without me.
i have many faults, one of them may be that I like 'em.
i miss my grandma.
i am the same person I have always been, but more so.
there is divinity in everything and everyone.
I know that today, all I can do to solve the problems of the world, is to solve those in my household. I know that if I put all my energy into the project of motherhood- I will change the world. I know that if I am open with my children, they will learn to be open with themselves. I know that I am stubborn, but idealistic is a pretty way to say so.  I know that we are all connected, we are all one. I will make the best of a bad situation. I will get all I can out of everyday, every experience. I know that sometimes I need to listen to my husband, and do less- but there is SO much to do! I know that I like it here. I know that somedays, I want to yell and stomp my feet like the children. Being frustrated, upset or angry is nothing to be ashamed of.
I know love is what it is all about. I know what its like to have your heart sing, I know I am lucky mine sings everyday. I know that I do not know what to do next. I know that I should just let it come, I know I should ride the wind. I know I should breath deep.

Friday, June 10, 2011

" When my children were small . . ."

Fifty years from now, when I think about the summers my children were small, these are the images that will fill my head. 

 Our Lake Walks are a weekly ritual all spring, summer and fall. Meandering along the pathways to the lake nearby- stopping at parks along the way. It takes all day long, and at the end- you feel tired, and filled up. When I think about my children's childhood I will think about how each day they fell into bed smelling of outside and hard play-work. When I think of my children's childhood it will be impossible not to think of those ladies, too. They are intertwined. There will never be anyone who understands my relationship with my children as well as these mamas who share my days. I cherish their friendship more then it is possible to explain ( I think some of these pictures help).  It is so wonderful to have women  who you need not explain anything to, yet will let you ramble for hours if YOU need to explain. Wonderful to be loved, as you are. My whole life I have played the mother/caregiver- but these ladies take care of me, and I them, together. They are full of amazing ideas and talents, and share them freely. It all gets all blended up. We have the same cups and strollers and clothes- and wear them all differently. I know that fifty years from now, when they think of me- I will be wearing a scarf on my head, my apron and a sling, and that is exactly how I want to be remembered. These moments of my life, in early motherhood, these moments are the truest moment of me. 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

In the summer . . .

.   .   . dinner is always quick and easy. Beef sausage from Farmers Market, and purple onions. Greens from the  CSA + tomatoes from our own plants = time after dinner to hang and play with my babies ( and only my babies) for the first time this week.
And by hang out and play- I mean make strawberry popsicles. Because I have been meaning to use them as a way to sneak some yogurt in my girls and then ROTH did that beautiful article on them. Plus, when I went to our local natural market, they had some BPA free molds.
This is the busy busy week we had, in photographs, because it is just too too much to put words to.

Missing are pictures of the start of swim team, the end of the year dance rehearsals, a day long ER preparedness class January and I had to take Saturday for our childcare license, or the extra big project David has been working on. So unseen is the extra mama head work that has gone into keeping the rhythm as regular as possible, as well as the extra help I've enlisted to get the children to the events I cannot attend ( thank you mama and dad). Whew, June is always hard with the endings and beginnings.
P.S. those are Mariah's lovely new chicks, but we are sponsoring one or two, and getting some eggs when they are available. Yay, community supported homemaking!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Summertime Rhythm 2011

Summertime Rhythm 2011


coffee with david
dress and organize
swim meet

morning chores
swim practice
morning chores
swim practice
morning chores
farmers market
pack picnic/clean up
january’s house
lake walk
family time: pool, fishing, hiking, gardening
rest/ handwork
afternoon/evening prep
swim practice
family potluck
pick up CSA/pizza and movie night
family time

Dear childcare parents, friends who visit, family and other interested folks:
Above is the basic rhythm for the summer months. Rest is really from 12-3 depending on how much rest ya need. Bigger girls have 15 minutes of book/reading time at the beginning of rest before quite play or joining handwork/preserving.
Morning chores consist of me getting our basic needs met. The three-five year olds have really enjoyed washing windows, rags, floors, dusting- while I am attending to bathrooms and less fun cleaning projects.  Or morning chores may be watering and weeding the herbs and veggies.Our littlest ones often nap at this time.  Below are links to some ongoing projects for the summertime.

hula hoop weaving: group project little girls and older girls individual projects
basket weaving: girls over 3
nature walk necklaces : I was so excited about this idea, since my apron pockets are often filled with tiny nature walk treasures!
string friendship bracelets
chalk form drawing and math games
Preparing/celebrating the Summer Solstice and the Forth of July

Below our some of our family activities planned for the summer that you may hear a little about and also may be worked into our daily learning/songs etc.
Family activities:
Star gazing at the conservancy
Lakefront music and movies
Camping on the Bay
Fossil hunting at Calvert Cliffs
Baltimore Museums 
Exploring Annapolis
Hiking our local MD state parks
Visiting National Parks in our area

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


and with the new edition of Rhythm of the Home, there will be no shortage of summer reading, crafting, playing, singing and dance. No shortage of yummy recipes. I am honored to be a apart of this edition, sharing my thoughts on intuition.  Cultivating intuition has been on my mind even more than usual these last few months; it has taken every bit of my intuition to help navigate the loss of my baby a few months ago. I would love to hear your stories of intuition, if you would like to share with a comment below.